April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month (SAAM). Sexual assault and physical abuse are never a survivor’s fault nor their responsibility to prevent it. However, it is not uncommon for a survivor to look back and wonder how they could have missed the signs. Having the foresight to spot warning signs before one’s life is in danger can be an invaluable skill. Some of it comes from listening to your gut while other signs are more visibly apparent. The transition from love to control to violence can be slow and inconspicuous.
There are a number of factors suspected to contribute to the likelihood of someone becoming abusive. Knowing the signs may help identify risks related to potential partners. Some of the identifying factors are:
A history of sexual assault
Being sexually or physically abused as a child
A lack of coping skills
Low self-esteem
Codependent behavior
Untreated mental illness
Drug or alcohol abuse
Financial pressures
Prior criminal background
Some warning signs and having the knowledge to spot the signs before one’s life is in danger can be an invaluable skill. Some identifying signs are:
Feeling like you’re being controlled
Forcing you to do things sexually that you’re not comfortable with
Your partner telling you how to dress
Who you can see and talk to
Whether or not you can have a job
Your partner restricting your access to money.
Additionally, having a partner who constantly puts you down or calls you names and a general sense of not feeling safe would be real red flags.